Whirl.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 09:56PM I feel like life is a whirl these days. It is easy to say "slow down and enjoy it" but my reality doesn't make that simple these days. Some days it doesn't seem to make it possible at all.
A. and I are still trying to figure out our finances and our future, but I feel like I am in a passive "being patient" pattern. We are waiting to hear about next steps for the job interview he went on, without getting our hopes up. I am feeling a little more cautious about things than A., but that is just the nature of who we are.
I feel like I am going through the motions these days. I get up go to work, come home, take care of things around the house, walk and hang out with the dog, go to bed, repeat all the while with this underlying current of "how can it change"? Is it really just a matter of time before we catch a "break" financially? I don't really believe in the "something" just happening to make it better.
We are working as hard as we can, we have stopped spending on all but the essentials and I still feel like we aren't making forward motion. I am trying to be patient, but that feel like waiting around passively. I feel restless, and unsure about what to do with that restless energy.
I am vacillating about applying for this open position at work. Technically it would be a lateral move but there might be some wiggle room for a small raise. I don't think I would make the move for no raise at all. The knowledge I have gained over the last 2 years should be worth something and if I am going to take on a more visible position and conquer the learning curve, I pretty much consider the small recognition of this that a small raise would bring a necessary step for me to make the move.
The other factor in my decision to apply for the position or not relates to how I would interact with a specific person in the organization and how I would really feel about that/how that person works with others and makes me feel about myself. That's all I can say about that.
I am very glad that I am able to take this Friday off and will be able to help out a friend by being with her. The day away from work will help me get some distance from the work decisions and craziness and being there for my friend is important and I want to be able to do this.
Reader Comments (2)
I hope your Friday gives you some perspective and refreshes you.
:)