Nest Egg

My nest egg for retirement is not very big at all. I make my contributions regularly and guard them with my life - never wavering in them, and have always liked to see my quarterly statements come in the mail and see the number go up each time (for the most part). Then there was last year. I, like everyone else in America took about a 15% hit last year when the economy took a nose dive. 

I can live with that.

What I cannot live with is that fact that I am still fighting with an employer from back in 2005 who stole money from my IRA contributions and used them for himself. He did this to everyone in the company. Since I had only been at the company less than 2 years, the amount I am fighting for is about $2,000. Some employees got taken for much more.

I left the company after working there for two years. Less than a year later the company went under.

The amazing office manager spearheaded a 3 year investigation that got the Attorney General and the Department of Labor involved. Most of the money has been returned. Most of it, but not mine and not one other employee's. When I left the company I rolled over the funds I did have into another IRA, closing the account I had with the company I left. When the money was mandated by the court to be paid back by the CEO who stole it, the funds were transferred electronically back into the employees' IRA accounts.

Only my account had been closed so my money went no where.

I have been trying to track it down since July and I am still waging the good war to get what is mine back. I have been very lucky that I have an amazing contact at the Department of Labor who is on the case with me. I will be calling her again Monday to ask her what is next.

How someone, a CEO of a very small 30 person company can steal from his employees is so beyond me. The jerk lives in one of the wealthiest towns around here, and his staff at the time were all hard working, 45 years old and younger, really committed to him and the company, and not at all in his financial affluence range. How can someone do that?

I want my $2,000 back in my nest egg to grow for retirement!

Friday Fill-Ins

Thanks Janet for keeping this alive week to week!

1. The last band I saw live was The Blues Brothers at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston. 

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is pie and ice cream and the long weekend with family and friends.

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is going to very limited this year.

4. Thoughts of Christmas decorations in my home are starting to fill my head (but never to appear before Thanksgiving!)

5. I wish I could wear jeans to work.

6. Bagpipes drive me crazy!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to earning some extra cash babysitting, tomorrow my plans include washing Marley (again) to de-skunk her, maybe a trip to the bookstore, and a 40th birthday party for two friends who are both turning 40! and Sunday, I want to do whatever comes my way!

Flow

As I start to explore the authentic me - the one that I think is buried under years of doing what I am "supposed" to do - I am starting to learn how to process and validate what I am thinking about myself. You know...find the balance between digging deep to get to what's real versus over analyzing it.

Today I read a post by Kate that really got me thinking. She wrote about anger being toxic.

What I wrote in response to her post is, 

Anger is toxic and so is stress. Sometimes I get into such a funk and it builds up that I forget how to feel UNstressed or UNangry at the world. I know this is not healthy and I’m working on it! What I am struggling with the most is the balance between accepting my emotions as valid, acknowledging them and yet then being able to move on and move past them, I think this is key, if I don’t recognize my feelings, [accept them as valid] and move past them it feels more like I am just “stuffing” them back down – and inevitably they bubble up again at the wrong time.

Right now for me the emotion I am working the most on is simple sadness. I am sure it is not simple and if I "got into it" more it will be quite complex. But for now I'm calling it simple sadness. What I am trying to figure out is where my balance is between taking it day by day and accepting my situation as it is for the current moment, knowing (?) it will get better and feeling like I want to run.

I will pick up on this line of thinking in my next post....

Cozy

I love that I had today off. 

Sleeping late was great. Raking leaves was great. I went to Kohl's and got Adam a great 3/4 length coat that he has been asking for for his birthday in a few weeks and I scored. Not only was it 50% off but then I also had a 30% off coupon AND I got a $10 coupon for your next visit. I like it when the shopping gods align like that!

The best part of the day is now, right now. In my comfy cozy clothes, bowl of noodles, candles lit, and an evening of no chores, and relaxing.

The challenge of the day has been getting the stinky skunk scent out of the house. Marley went head to head with a skunk on her walk last night. TOTALLY my fault for letting her walk along next to me not on a leash. She actually doesn't smell like a skunk much at all but the house was really overpowered with the smell earlier but it is getting better with a lot of candles!

Poor thing got sprayed right in her face and she went running off like a wild woman, diving into our lawn face first and rubbing her eyes into the grass and then pawing at her face. I felt awful for her but she rallied pretty quickly and after a good scrubbing in the tub, she promptly fell asleep, exhausted from her antics.

We will go out for a walk in a little bit but other than that I am here on my couch, cup of tea in hand and happy as can be. 

60 Books in 60 Years

In August 2009, The New York Times compiled its favorite books from the last 60 years. I have read only 13 of them! I have seen the movie for another 7. I feel so UNliterary! I really would like to read some of the ones I haven't read yet. So many books, so little time.

How many have you read?

mid-week bliss

Tomorrow I will be reveling in some mid-week bliss called Veteran's Day! My organization gives us the day off (thank you very much). I have no real plans for the day and that is perfect. 

I might...

...finish raking the leaves in our front yard
...take the dog for a nice long walk around the pond
...sleep in a bit (almost a definite)
...dust the house from top to bottom (probably not!)
...sit on the couch and watch some movies
...finally finish one of the two books I am reading
...or maybe something else will come along that trumps all of these! Do you have the day off? What will you be doing?

Instead

I wanted to post something insightful tonight...

...but....instead...

...I dropped A's new phone* off to him at the bar...

...and had two vodka tonics and 15 wings**...

...so I need to go to bed now... 

* He put his old phone through the 12 minute wash cycle with our last load of clothes.

** Sundays and Mondays they have a 20-cent wing special & it was easier than cooking.

Next

Babysitting this week and next will be so that I can join an outrageously creative group of women in This Courageous Life.

What is Courageous Living? from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

I don't know what's coming and I don't know where I am going (impressive I know) but I do feel a shift happening in me - or maybe the shift is happening to me (but that feels rather passive). I want to be engaged in my life again. I want to feel passionate about something. I want to feel happy again.

I wish I had a road map for this part of my life; this part that feels challenging, but maybe, just maybe I will learn something more by just exploring. Maybe the change will be inside, but maybe it will be external...maybe nothing will change at all.

I just want to take a baby step away from passive and if nothing else, it sounds FUN!

When it rains....

Things get wet...

...no, no really, when it rains it pours. After hanging out with Janet yesterday, I was up early today walking the dogs. Marley will sleep till 9:00-10:00 AM - but Shiva, who we are dog sitting - was sitting RIGHT THERE starting at me to wake up at 7:30 AM, begging me with her eyes to PLEASE WAKE UP and take her for a walk - so off we went.

So I was out walking the dogs, and I see our neighbors/friends bustling out to their car with all kinds of bags and stuff. They were on their way to the emergency room for BOTH the 1 year old baby and the husband. After 4 hours at the hospital they knew that the baby had brochilolits (the virus version of the bacteria bronchitis) but there were still waiting to see what was going on with the husband. I stayed with the baby at their home so she could go back to the hospital. As it turned out her husband had appendicitis and had to be taken into emergency surgery. He is out of surgery and doing fine but it is starting to make me wonder...

What is going on??? So many people I know are having medical things going on. I am very glad that everyone is doing well tonight and on the mend.

Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut and need to get some cleaning up around the house (do hair has been flying!), later in the afternoon I am going to visit with Janet. 

What have you been up to this weekend?

Friends

I got to spend about an hour with Janet once she was moved from recovery to her room. She spent almost 3x as much time in recovery as she did in surgery - not because she had any medical issues but because it was so crazy in getting people into rooms.

When I got to her room she looked great! She was situated comfortably and was chatty with me and the nurse (who was a sweetheart!). She said she really didn't have much pain at all - isn't it wonderful what drugs can do? I do have to say that whatever she was on it must not have been a lot though because she was not loopy at all! We read through all of the emails and facebook comments she had gotten through out the day and got her settled for the night - even though the nurse will be in every 2 hours to check her vitals etc. 

Her roommate was a little less than a rock star - she had a wonderful (NOT!) hacking cough which she promptly announced was NOT the H1N1 flu but "just" a smokers cough. GAH! The super nice nurse was able to get Janet some ear plugs which will be a lifesaver. I think with the earplugs and her iPod she will snooze right though it.

I am off to sleep feeling incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful friend in Janet. I am so grateful that I was able to be there for her today and so thankful for the support of all of her other friends through out the day.